Shoshin is a concept in Zen Buddhism meaning “beginner’s mind”. It refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject, even when studying at an advanced level, just as a beginner in that subject would.

What if, as a leader, you took the “beginner’s mind” approach to everything you did? What if you put aside your preconceived ideas, your assumptions, and your tete dur, and opened your mind to someone else’s ideas and suggestions? The practice of Zen states that “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.” Could you open your mind up to the many possibilities that are available?

Let’s take a look at the two approaches and you decide for yourself which you will aspire to:

• The tete dur is insecure and sees admitting that she doesn’t have all the answers all of the time as an admission of weakness or inadequacy. I have found that many leaders find it harder to say “I don’t know” than it is to apologize or admit a mistake. Maybe it’s because we’ve been conditioned to believe that the boss must know it all. Beginners are secure enough to say “I don’t know” and will take the steps necessary to find out the answers. A beginner will even ask team members for their ideas. Often those on the “front line” will have great ideas for improvements but won’t speak up unless asked.
• A tete dur sees himself as an expert based on years of experience and knowledge. A beginner’s mind doesn’t assume anything, but rather, expects that he can learn something from each person he encounters. Of course no one is suggesting that you forget everything you’ve learned, or negate experience; Rather having a beginner’s mind is about keeping an open mind on how to apply your experience to each new circumstance.
• A tete dur will often focus on doing things the “normal” way, or the “way we’ve always done things.” A beginner will challenge her paradigms or think outside of the box. Thank goodness inventors like Edison and Da Vinci had the courage to disregard common sense and allow themselves to be creative.
• A tete dur gets stuck in preconceived ideas and may even believe that he knows all that he needs to know on a subject. A beginner is insatiably curious and loves to ask questions, learn, and explore. My daddy was a beginner in this regard. He was fascinated by learning how things work and inventing solutions to problems or challenges. (Although he could still be a tete durin many ways!) I am reminded of a Zen story that illustrates this point:
  
  A professor once visited a Japanese master to inquire about Zen. The master served tea. When the visitor’s cup was full, the master kept pouring. Tea spilled out of the cup and over the table.“The cup is full!” said the professor. “No more will go in!” “Like this cup,” said the master, “You are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

Obviously this story points out the fact that in order to learn and grow – in any subject – we have to be willing to release our pre-conceived ideas and adopt a spirit of curiosity and discovery. As a leader it’s easy to get stuck in what you know and how things have always been done. Today, take on a problem from a beginner’s mind, Tete Dur!

Action Time! What will you:  

• start doing,
• stop doing, or
• continue doing

to adopt a Beginner’s Mind? Use the comment box below to share your action plan with us!

Now, I know I’m prejudiced, but give me my sweet, gentle big dog over Mr. Yap Yap any day. Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Yap Yap is adorable to look at and cute as a button to hold on your lap, but I would seriously grow weary of his incessant barking. Since I can think of nothing else at the moment, (in fact I can barely hear myself think) it dawns on me that there is a parallel between these two dogs and leadership.

Mr. Yap Yap barks constantly to assert himself. Apparently he feels that he must bark to proclaim to the world that THIS is his territory. Perhaps this is due to his stature – or lack thereof? My friend Julie has a Chihuahua (and trust me, Mr. Congeniality he is not!), and she says that these small dogs have Napoleon Complex – aka “Short Man’s Syndrome”. Pardon me for my political incorrectness, but I think she may be on to something. Mr. Yap Yap is simply overcompensating for his inferiority complex which he has developed due to his small size.

Tabasco, on the other hand, is quietly confident. Period. He feels no need to assert himself, since everyone already knows he rules the roost. He just goes on about his business and ignores the noise of these fussy little balls of fluff. He is on guard whenever a new car drives up, but his first instinct is to assess the situation (aka sniff them out) and rarely does he bark or become aggressive.  

Hmmm. Can you see any parallels with leaders you may have known (or maybe report to)?  Have you ever known a “Mr. Yap Yap Leader”? He is the one who constantly tells people what to do and often micromanages team members. She relies on her title to gain compliance and control. A “Tabasco-esque Leader” is self-confident and trusts his team members to get the job done. She is the type of leader who quietly assesses the situation and will give a team member a gentle nudge, only if needed.

 Which kind of leader are you?

 As for me, I’m hoping it’s almost time for Mr. Yap Yap’s nap nap.

As my family and I embark on a home renovation project involving kitchen, laundry room, living room, carport and outdoor storage closets, I have been doing some heavy duty spring cleaning. I have ruthlessly tossed out, donated, and shared lots of “stuff” that I will no longer need or want in my “new and improved” space.

For me, this spring cleaning is such an invigorating process, as though my body releases endorphins each time I pitch another object. Getting rid of this “baggage” is such a freeing feeling that I find myself looking around for more stuff to get rid of.

This feeling of being lighter and freer led me to think about what else I might jettison from my life, metaphorically speaking, that is. I have some habits that I’ve been working hard to discard. Although I’m not completely free of these behaviors, I know that I’m well on my way.

For example, I’ve been striving to rid my diet of unwanted “stuff” to create a lighter and freer me – literally. I’m also working to be less judgmental of others and to cut people some slack. (I have a nasty habit of being critical of the tiniest flaws in others while overlooking my own ginormous flaws.)

Nowadays I’m making an effort to show more and to tell less. I’d like my life – my actions, my deeds, my examples – to speak for themselves.

How about you? As a leader, have you done your spring cleaning yet? Consider what behaviors you might toss out to create a “lighter, freer” work environment. How might you clean out your old habits to make room for more trust and maybe even more fun in your work team?

Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve still got a way to go with my habits and behaviors. I’m not there yet. But in the words of Preacher/Televangelist Joyce Meyers. “I may not be where I need to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be!”

Action Time! What will you:

• start doing,
• stop doing, or
• do differently

to spring clean your leadership behaviors and habits? Use the comment box below and share your action plan with us!

Yet in the process of making progress, what’s been lost? You guessed it. One-on-one communication with others.

This sped-up world offers more and better technology, cool gadgets, and time-saving gizmos. Yet 24/7 electronic access doesn’t guarantee real connections with other human beings.

Here on the bayou, I’ve often heard the term tête á tête. When Mama said to me, “We need to have a tête á tête!” she wanted to have a talk with me head to head and eyeball to eyeball. It also meant I was likely in some kind of trouble. (I seem to remember a lot of those tête á têtes, and that’s because I had/have a tête dur – a hard head – and was always causing some kind of misère in one way or another!) In a business setting, though, it would simply involve having a one-on-one conversation with someone, an in-person meeting.

Do you email the guy in the cubicle next to you rather than walk over and have a tête á tête? Do you text message your friend to see how she’s doing after a serious family problem instead of giving her a call or dropping by to visit?

Now, I’m not saying that texting and emailing are always inappropriate or that you should never use them. I believe, though, that as a leader, you’ll realize a huge amount of value when you connect with your team members in person. Call a meeting when you need to or walk over and meet in person!

Don’t Blame the Meeting Itself
Sure, I know you’re probably saying to yourself: “But most meetings completely waste my time. I’m suffering from an agonizing condition known as death-by-meeting!” More often than not, it’s because the leader and/or attendees failed to properly prepare, or include the right people, or keep the meeting focused and productive. Don’t blame the meeting itself!

But when you have intentional person-to-person meetings, you can see your fellow team member roll his eyes at your new procedures, or cross her arms in frustration, or nod his head in agreement. It’s invaluable in helping you “hear” what’s not being said! Yes, using email often seems more expedient and efficient, but not if you consider the cost of what you’re missing by not conducting an in-person meeting.

When you take into account that your tone of voice and body language are completely removed from your written message, you leave a lot of room for interpretation (or misinterpretation), assumptions, and misunderstanding.

Choose the Best Medium for Connecting
As a leader, when communicating important information to team members, think carefully about the medium you use. If you want to get honest feedback, express concerns, or give performance feedback, your objectives are best served if you meet tête á tête. Connect with others rather than talk at them.

I heard a manager talking about one of his team members this way: “I sent him a text and I TOLD him to . . . .” And I’m sure he did tell his team member what he wanted done. But did he give the person a chance to ask questions or paraphrase back to the manager his directions? Did the manager actually demonstrate what he wanted done? I doubt it.

In a cryptic text message riddled with abbreviations and code words, you can’t know if the recipient understood your message or whether your code was misconstrued.

HTH! CWYL mayB F2F! Translation: Hope that helps! Chat with you later maybe face to face!

Never underestimate the power and value of sitting down eyeball to eyeball-tête á tête-with your team members for a person-to-person convo. You’ll be surprised what you hear that’s not being said.

Action Time! What will you:

• start doing,
• stop doing, or
• continue doing

to improve communication with your team members? Use the comment box below to share your action plan with us!

It’s Carnival time in South Louisiana and while most people around the world associate Mardi Gras/Carnival with New Orleans, they don’t realize that many other towns, cities, and communities also celebrate the Mardi Gras season. Each krewe has its own style and customs, but all revolve around fun, revelry and pageantry. Some krewes are all-men krewes, all-women, focused on children, formal, satirical, and yes, there’s even the krewe of Barkus – for dogs!

I remember many years ago, riding in a local parade with my then 4-year old daughter. While it was a blast, what I remember most were the sounds. “Throw me something Mister!” shouted over and over again…people calling my name, despite the fact that I was in costume…my daughter calling for me to untangle beads or to help her throw a stuffed animal or doubloons to a friend she’d spotted, drumbeats in front of our float, music behind us. It actually became disorienting and I felt like I was being pulled limb from limb!

Leaders, do you ever feel this way in your work? I know I did as a new manager back in the day. Still wet behind the ears, my definition of leader/manager back then was synonymous with “decision maker” and “in control”. (Okay, I was basically a dictator.) I coached team members to come to me for everything. Boy, did I have a lot to learn!

Soon I felt like a stuffed animal that two kids were fighting over. I couldn’t go to the bathroom without people stopping me to ask for directions on a project, request permission to take some action, or guidance on responding to employee issues. Before long I realized that I was the most stressed-out and hardest working person in the department, while team members didn’t have a care in the world. After all, they didn’t have to use their brains or their skills, and they had no stress to speak of. I ultimately realized that I had created a monster. Have you ever done the same thing?

With my realization came a resolve to rectify the situation. When leaders insist on making all decisions, team members are absolved of responsibility and accountability. So what can you do to avoid making the same mistakes I made? Here are a couple of quick tips:

• Get clear on your skills, gifts, assets, and strengths. Figure out what you, and only you can do best. Then design your job around your strengths. This is not selfish – no, mon ami, this is making sure that you are providing the greatest value to your team and your organization in a way that only you can.
• Identify team member’ strengths and capitalize on them. Have them attend training programs to further develop their skills and interests and then give them space and opportunity to do what they do best.
• Delegate whenever possible. Have a team member take on the tasks/projects for which you have the least skills, for which he is most skilled, and/or for which you are over-qualified.
• Empower team members to make decisions, even if only within established parameters.
• Allow team members space to do their work. Most people do not appreciate being micromanaged. Yes, this may mean that you have to allow a team member to fail occasionally. Just know that she will learn valuable lessons from her missteps.

Whether you’ve set yourself up as a dictator as I did or not, hopefully my tips will keep you from being torn limb from limb!
Oh, and by the way, Happy Mardi Gras Ya’ll!

Action Time! What will you:

• start doing,
• stop doing, or
• continue doing or do differently

to empower team members and set up yourself and your team for success? Use the comment box below to share your action plan with us!

Every culture tells stories as a means of preserving its way of life. In South Louisiana, the raconteurs or storytellers pass along our history, culture, and perspective to the next generations. Cajuns love to gather around campfires or sit on the porch swing and hear stories of Cajun lore passed down through multiple generations.

Storytelling — probably the oldest form of communication — can become one of the best tools you could ever apply to your leadership goals. Yep, that’s right. Storytelling can be a powerful leadership tool.

But, you might argue, business communication must be logical, linear, and objective, right? Not so. If you want to inspire, engage, and influence others (and what leader doesn’t?), aim to stir their emotions and spark a desire to take action.

Why Tell Stories in Business?
Good storytelling can make your message relevant, visual, memorable, interesting, and compelling. Let me explain how.

Relevant. Facts, figures, and statistics have no intrinsic meaning unless they’re tied to a story that gives them relevance. I’ve always been fascinated by the late Steve Jobs. He had the ability to brilliantly put technical information into terms and pictures everyone could relate to. When introducing new products, Jobs never spouted facts about features of Apple’s latest creation; he gave it context and relevance.

For instance, when introducing the iPod, instead of saying it had 30 GB of storage, he said it had enough memory for 7,500 songs, 25,000 pictures, or up to 75 hours of video. Now that “story” gave his message relevance to every potential Apple customer!

For your message to pack a powerful punch, don’t only give facts and data; provide information within a framework of context and perspective. That’s what gives it meaning and relevance for your team members.

Visual. From the time my children were young, I read aloud to them every night. Naturally, they could listen better than they could read, so we quickly advanced from picture books to what we called “chapter” books when they were still pre-school-age.

With no pictures to follow, I encouraged them to “paint a picture in their minds” of the story as I read it. You can do the same thing with your team members. Your message will be more engaging if you evoke images and pictures in the minds of your listeners.

For instance, if I were to say that Louisiana loses 25 square miles of precious wetlands every year, it’s not as visual as if I told you we’re losing our coastal wetlands at a rate of one football-field-sized area every 30 minutes. When people can visualize what you’re talking about, they can process the information more easily. Storytelling paints a verbal picture for your listeners.

Memorable. Policies and procedures may be necessary for you to have on paper, but if you want people to actually follow a certain protocol, tell them a story. If you want people to follow safety procedures, don’t put out a written policy stating they have to wear a hardhat or seat belt. Instead, at your safety meeting, show photos of your children and the families of other team members. Stress that getting home to family is the reason for working safely. Touch their emotions. Tap into their internal motivations. Tell stories that make your message memorable and they won’t forget to buckle up.

Interesting. People love listening to a good story. They enjoy hearing the “before” part of the story, the struggle, and then the “after” or resolution of the struggle. And I’m not just talking about fiction stories, either.

One of the best storytellers ever is filmmaker Ken Burns, the director and producer of many award-winning documentaries on Public Broadcasting System (PBS). Burns has a remarkable way of taking historical events and weaving together a story in such an interesting way that a boring subject becomes absolutely riveting.

Another storytelling great was legendary radio commentator Paul Harvey. Nobody could turn to another station until they heard Harvey’s “The Rest of the Story.” I had a History professor in college who was a brilliant storyteller and he had us sitting on the edge of our seats at every class.

How can you impart important information to get your point across in a more interesting way? Turn it into stories.

What About Being Objective and Factual?
I know this concept of telling stories at work seems counterintuitive, especially if you’ve always believed business communications must be objective, factual, and well, dry.

Yet as a leader, if you want to influence others, you’re miles ahead if you adapt your approach to the situation and people involved. Telling a story gives you a powerful medium for conveying your message-and can inspire more action than plain facts, data, or statistics ever could.

No, you don’t need a porch swing to become the raconteur of your organization. Simply determine how to weave your message into a story that will move your team members.

Remember, telling heartfelt stories gives your message relevance and perspective. Become a great storyteller and you’ll greatly enhance your leadership.

Action Time! What will you:

• start doing,
• stop doing, or
• continue doing or do differently

to improve your communitcation and story telling with your team members? Use the comment box below to share your action plan with us!

If you’ve ever spent time in Bayou Country, you know that Cajuns love to talk. And depending on their passion for their subject, they can gesture wildly as they speak. It doesn’t matter where they are — a family gathering, a church function, a PTA event, a business meeting, or even a wake or a funeral — Cajuns get animated when they talk and don’t care who else is talking at the same time.

In South Louisiana, the expression “gumbo ya ya” actually has nothing to do with gumbo or any kind of food. Rather, it describes a scene in which everyone chatters at once. This occurs frequently in Cajun culture; does it happen in your organization, too?

Do you participate in any of the “gumbo ya ya” that goes on among your team members?

Do You Listen?

As a leader, you might be so busy barking out directions, delegating, and giving instructions, you don’t think about taking time to listen to what others are telling you.

But by becoming a better listener, you’ll increase your own productivity as well as that of your team. You’ll improve your ability to influence, persuade, and negotiate. What’s more, you’ll avoid conflict and misunderstandings on the road to resolving problems with customers, co-workers, and bosses — all necessary activities for workplace success.

Clearly, success stems from listening well, a skill you likely use more than any other kind. To consciously practice your listening skills, follow these do’s and don’ts-guidelines you’ll find handy in all locales and relationships:

• Do ask for and really listen to what others say. You may be surprised at the insight they offer.
• Don’t interrupt, draw conclusions, or judge the speaker.
• Do open your ears, mind, and heart to the suggestions of others, to new ideas, and to creative solutions.
• Don’t assume you already know what others are about to say, or worse, finish their sentences for them.
• Do listen to what’s being said as well as what’s not being said. Often team members have insight into a problem but need to feel safe from judgment or condemnation before opening up. As a leader, remember what you don’t know can hurt you!
• Don’t focus on your next statement while the other person speaks. Waiting for your turn to say something is not listening!
• Do maintain eye contact with those who are speaking, giving them your full attention. Have you ever tried to talk about something important to someone who was multitasking? It’s frustrating! So when someone is trying to talk to you, give them the respect of being fully present and attentive.

Continually work on achieving and modeling good listening skills for yourself and your team members. Don’t let “gumbo ya ya” become part of your organization’s culture!

Action Time! What will you:

• start doing,
• stop doing, or
• continue doing or do differently

to improve your communitcation with your team members? Use the comment box below to share your action plan with us!

Where I come from, sugarcane is King! Sugarcane arrived in Louisiana with the Jesuit priests in 1751, who planted it near their church in what is now downtown New Orleans. The sugarcane industry has continued to grow and flourish (pun intended) lo these many years.

We recently spent the weekend with some friends at an historic plantation home in St. Martinville, Louisiana. It is a working plantation with the sugar mill located right next to the home. We visited in October, which is right in the thick of grinding season – or the harvest time when the sugarcane is brought to the mill for processing. I love watching the cane trucks and wagons deliver the harvest to the mill.

I’d like you to imagine for a moment that you are a sugarcane farmer. You have the opportunity to farm acres and acres of land. Your equipment is capable of harvesting all of your acreage and you have the potential to make a huge profit.

Would you farm and harvest only two of your fields and leave the other two fields to go to waste? Hardly! You would farm, harvest, and fully process all four fields, getting the maximum possible benefit/profit from these natural resources.

In business, why would you deal with people any differently? Often leaders fail to realize or draw out the maximum possible benefit from their greatest natural resources – their people. But to reap your best possible harvest, just like with sugarcane farming, you must maximize your resources.

I’m not a farmer, (although I used to own some overalls at one time), but I’ve put together a few tips for cultivating and harvesting a banner crop:

Soil – As any good farmer knows, you’ve got to start off with good, nutrient-rich soil to grow anything successfully. You will want to till and prepare your land before you begin planting to provide the proper foundation for your crop. In business, you need to provide a proper foundation and plan for success. Identifying and establishing your mission, vision, and values for your organization or even your division of the organization is important so that your team members know the growth plan.

Seed – Perhaps it goes without saying but in farming you need to select a crop that is suited for your climate and environmental conditions. Sugarcane is best grown in a tropical or semi-tropical climate, so it is well-suited for the warm, sultry, often steamy climate of South Louisiana. As a leader, you must make wise choices in selecting team members. Although perhaps well-qualified, not everyone will be a good fit for your organization or with your team.

Fertilize - Not all of the nutrients necessary for a bountiful harvest will be available from the soil, so some fertilization will be necessary. Using the right kind of fertilizer and in the proper amounts will be key to nourishing a healthy crop. As a leader, it is up to you to “nourish” and nurture your team members by providing learning and growth opportunities. Sit down with employees and devise a development plan for each individual. Allow team members to further develop their strengths, explore interests, and hone their skills.

Irrigate – As you may know – if you’ve ever spent five consecutive minutes in South Louisiana – it tends to rain a lot here. Sugarcane, like many crops, needs proper, consistent irrigation. Although we get a lot of rain, it’s not necessarily consistent. So many cane farmers irrigate their fields. As a leader, once you’ve prepared the proper foundation and put together a winning team, you’ve got to maintain a work environment and business culture that allows team members to thrive. A work environment of respect and dignity are essential. View each team member as an individual, with valuable gifts and talents to contribute to the organization.

Harvest – Starting in the fall, typically October, harvesters cut off the cane tops and cane loaders place the cane in large wagons for transport to the sugar mills.

At the raw sugar mill, the sugarcane is washed, crushed, and the juice is boiled down to a thick syrup. The cane by-product is bagasse, which is used as a fuel to power the factories. The thick syrup is separated into sugar crystals (“raw sugar”) and molasses (used in livestock feed). Every bit of the sugarcane is processed and utilized. As a leader, your role is to bring out the best that each individual has to give to accomplish company goals. Don’t let any talents go to waste. Both the individual and the organization will realize a cornucopia of benefits.

By investing in your greatest natural resource – your people – you can cultivate untapped strengths, draw out hidden talents and reap a sweet harvest.

What do you have an envie for? As a leader, do you have clarity about what you want to achieve? Have you spelled out specifically what you want to accomplish?

Leaders need to be clear on their goals and have a vision for the future. To really be successful, you must desire these goals with great passion, enthusiasm, and energy, (not unlike my envie for crawfish!).  As you become clear on what you want, that vision becomes a powerful force that will pull you forward. Great leaders are then able to share the vision and enlist team members on the quest.

The Sioux Indians view the eagle as a symbol of great vision and the ability to see distant goals and vistas with great clarity. The mouse, on the other hand, represents the tendency to focus only on what is immediately in front of it – to concentrate on exploring its immediate environment with its nose, eyes, whiskers, and its paws.

Unfortunately, I think we can all relate to the mouse to a certain degree. It’s easy to get caught up in “mouse vision”. Life is “bizzy”. We are all so involved in day-to-day activities, it can sometimes make you dizzy. (Hence, my newly coined word, “bizzy”.) There are dozens of pressing and urgent tasks demanding our time and attention, and we become like the mouse, focusing only on what is right in front of us.

But effective leaders have eagle vision. They concentrate their focus on the big picture, on what lies ahead, what they’re working towards. Although there are always daily “to-do” lists, they keep their long-term goals and aspirations front and center and take action steps each day, week, and month toward those goals.

It’s also important to identify what’s important to you and to clarify the vision you have for yourself and your career. Many people have goals for the organization or for the team, but not for themselves. Business philosopher and motivational speaker extraordinaire, Jim Rohn, often said “You should work harder on yourself than you do on your job.” What he’s suggesting here is that as you invest in your own personal and professional development, and advance toward your goals, the organization and the team will also benefit – collateral benefits, if you will.

Be specific and strategic about the future you envision for yourself and for your team. Your goals and aspirations for the organization should be explicit, inspiring, and should be congruent with who you are and what you believe in.

As you become more clear on your vision and what you want, you can concentrate your efforts on those activities that are more important, that are of higher priority, and that will move you closer to your goals instead of just focusing on what’s right in front of your nose, (or your paws or whiskers, in keeping with the mouse analogy).

So what do you have an envie for? I suggest you get really clear on what you want, develop your eagle vision, and share that vision with your team.

Oh, and by the way, if your envie is for crawfish, you’d better get in line – behind me!

Action Time! What will you:

• start doing,
• stop doing, or
• continue doing

to develop your vision and  enlist your team members? Use the comment box below to share your action plan with us!

The client happened to be an international non-profit organization and one could clearly make the connection that relationships play a vital role in their “business”. The next day, as I spoke to a group of bankers, I thought, “well these guys and gals are surely in the relationship business!” My clients in the healthcare, insurance, engineering, manufacturing, and technology industries are all in the relationship business.

Let’s face it. We’re all in the relationship business, regardless of the industry or product or service we provide. We all know that people do business with people they:

• Know
• Like, and
• Trust

Team members are loyal, committed and engaged when their leader is someone they know, like, and trust.

Relationships — building, nurturing, and maintaining them — are at the core of your business. Without customers, you would have no reason for being. Without employees you would likely not be able to provide the goods or services to your customers – or at least not in a timely fashion.

How’s Ya Mama ‘n’ ‘Em? No, I haven’t taken leave of my grammatical senses. This is a very common expression here in South Louisiana.

It is our way of asking how a person is doing, how their family is doing, and what’s going on in their lives outside of work. And it’s a huge part of our culture. I think it’s a practice that, if you implement it in your interactions with others, could just possibly change your work culture too.

Taking a few minutes to engage someone in a conversation about themselves is a great way to invest in the relationship. Most people like to talk about themselves and are flattered that you’re interested enough to ask. The key, though, is that your interest must be sincere and genuine — not like your interactions with your “pseudo friends” on Facebook, (or as my friend James calls it, “Spacebook”).

Theodore Roosevelt said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” This holds true for your team members as well as your customers. In fact, in many ways, you should treat your employees as you would a valued customer. And yes, it does take some effort and a little bit of time. But, consider it a deposit in your relationship account, and always strive to make more deposits than you do withdrawals in that account.

This ability to take an interest in others may not come naturally for everyone. And that’s okay, because it’s a skill you can learn. I had a client once who was an introvert and who needed coaching in this area. He was so analytical, that he wanted a specific formula for creating great relationships. I remember he even asked me how many minutes he would need to engage in conversation with team members. (I could picture him setting an egg timer on the desk to time the conversation precisely!)

There is no magic formula for creating great relationships. Here are just a few quick tips:

• Ask questions about his family. (You can start with How’s Ya Mama ‘n’ ‘Em?”)
• Notice what she talks about — hobbies, interests, etc. and ask about them. (Ex: “How long have you been competing in underwater basket weaving?”)
• Make a mental note of, say, his weekend plans so that on Monday you can ask how it went. (Ex: “How was the fishing trip? Did ya’ll catch? I must’ve missed your call inviting me to supper.”)
• It’s also okay to engage in brief group conversations after a big weekend or event. (Ex: “How ’bout dem Saints?”)

Your ability to influence team members to perform and produce will hinge directly on the relationship that you have created with them. Taking an interest in them, their family, and life outside of work is a small investment to make with potentially huge returns.

What? You say you can’t afford to take the time to engage in conversation with your employees or customers? I say you can’t afford not to. Your business success depends on it.

By the way, “How’s ya Mama ‘n’ em?”

Action Time! What will you:

• start doing,
• stop doing, or
• continue doing or do differently

to build stronger relationships with your team members? Use the comment box below to share your action plan with us!